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Say YES to someone else's opinion
A huge part of being in community with others is letting others be right. If someone always feels like you are going to disagree with them, they will have a wall up to you and you may never connect with them. Relating successfully to the people around you requires active listening and patient sharing of thoughts. If you always aim to be right, when it matters, you won't be listened to.
It's a good idea to let the other person speak their mind without objection when the subject at hand is no big deal. For example, there are many ways to drive from place to place, so let the other person pick the you will take. Or, someone may think it's 40 degrees outside, while you are sure that it's 20. In these types of situations, the fight is really not worth fighting. It is good to opt for just saying "OK" and moving on.There are also many opportunities to relate well to people when having discussions involving opinions. People have varied opinions about food, colors, decor, movies, music, etc. Instead of telling someone why you disagree, continue to explore that person and who they are. Listen to what they like and ask them to tell you more about it, instead of bringing the attention to yourself and your opinion. If they ask about you, share yourself with them... keep the conversation open and find commonalities and appreciate why each of you is different and unique.
People are simply different. Life would be boring otherwise. Having beneficial relationships with people is fostered by truly being open to loving people as they are. If someone feels comfortable being who they are with you, it is likely that you will connect to the point of really being able to meet each other's needs.
So let others be right. If you always object, you will never be heard. But, if you listen with care, your words will be received as an offering of love.
Katrina Bitar
FOCUS North America YES Program Director
PS: here's an awesome quote from an LA participant for the Say YES to someone else's opinion:
Talking with the people on both of the trips i had the pleasure of participating in was profoundly life changing, eye opening, selfless, valuable and extrodinary. One of the most difficult aspects of the trip was to deny my self of talking about my own intrests and sincerely listen to who ever i was talking to. It was important to listen because it gave the homeless people a sense of self worth as if someone cared about them and was interested in their life. The expression of happiness and the overwhelming feeling of joy was evident on every homeless person during and after engaging in a simple conversation. In the beginning i signed up to help but when i left i realized that the amount of help i contributed was minimal to the amount that i had been helped by the homeless people i only spent a weekend with. -Essa Bahu
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